Hat Check

It's hard to believe that it is below zero outside. The sun is shining, the sky clear and there's nary a snowflake in the air. Yet it's so cold gloves won't help you after a few minutes outside, the sparrows don't want to make small talk outside my window and I refuse to even think about taking down my Christmas tree or do laundry until the weather gets a little bit warmer. If I do have to step outdoors, I want to be wearing a beret like the one above, only in mohair. And I'd add a rabbit-fur scarf, maybe even a face mask, even if that looks a little scary.

But no earmuffs! That would look retarded, even if that's perhaps what Ugly Betty might wear on her way to work. If I need to wear something over my ears, I'd wear a cable bucket hat like the one below, although I think I'd need getting it off because my hands would be frozen. I'd feel like a 5-year-old asking for help but I wouldn't care as long as I'm inside a building where it's warmer than the Lincoln Park Conservatory and I could unthaw next to a radiator for a few minutes. What do you think? Which hat would you wear on a day so chilly even the polar bear swim club meet gets cancelled?