Flop Hat #1

This is the first in a occasional series about disastrous hats I've sewn, crocheted, knitted or just plain cobbled together. The topper you see above? (I'm referring to the color photo) That's supposed to look like the Sport Hat. As you can see, the only resemblance the two share is the color. Both are white. Oh yes, they are both crocheted. Other than that, they look like fraternal twins. You see, my brim zings where it should zang. The Sport Hat's brim? Nice and neat, so you can actually see underneath it. It keeps away the sun's harmful rays like a hat should. Mine blocks my vision horribly, making me more than likely to walk in front of a moving vehicle. This chapeau looks like it belongs on a cartoon character - after it's been hit by an automobile manned by Bugs Bunny. Can't you just see it now? After being smashed by a Model Ford, 'toon walks in circles, #@$%! flashing in its eyes and the hat tittering on its dented head.
If you're still interested in creating this pattern after hearing my sad, sad story, you can buy it here on eBay. If you actually make it, please send me a picture!