The Sewist - the swimsuit issue
Welcome to the first swimsuit issue of The Sewist. You're a loyal lot, so I just wanted to let you know what to expect in this special issue, shot on location near the 4-lane pool at the High Ridge YMCA in Evanston, Ill.
First, there will no be airbrushing, no faux tans or forgiving lighting. Nor will there be any pricey Prada swimsuits, or Touche tankinis. You won't find any bikinis either. We didn't have the budget for them. Nor did we have the monies for a shoot in South Palm Beach Florida or even Venice, California. Even our request for simple photographs at North Avenue Beach in Chicago was turned down without any explanation. We also weren't able to hire Gisele Bundchen or any of her former Victoria's Secret colleagues. You won't find any hot men such as the oft bare-chested actor Matthew McConaughey or the hunky Patrick Dempsey of Grey's Anatomy fame. Even the editor's hunky brother Andy was unavailable for unspecified reasons (although staff writers suspect he was boating on Lake Michigan with his dog Pablo and avoiding his females fans and paparazzi.)
In fact, our editor-in-chief Mary Beth Klatt had to volunteer for snapshots, taken courtesy of the lifeguard-on-duty at High Ridge. I think the lifeguard did a fabulous job, don't you?
Here's what you will find in this action-packed edition. You'll see plenty of varicose veins, especially in Ms. Klatt's left shoulder, caused by the straps on heavy totes, page after page of unshaved legs, moles, hyperpigmentation and cellulite. Scars, rosacea, and real sweat? It's all inside these magazine. You'll also discover untouched photos, a rarity in this industry. In fact, our editorial staff doesn't have Photoshop. We're hopeful we'll have this computer software in time for the next issue. We've got a whole section of lovely candid shots of our unpaid models in homemade, machine-stitched (but not in Southeast Asia) swimsuits. We also have a list of the best shops in the U.S. for gently-used swimwear. Turn to page 9 to learn more.
Last but not least, if you'd like to donate the use of your backyard swimming pool for next year's 1st anniversary issue, please email us now. Thank you.