At The Pearly Gates

Elinore had been waiting for this moment her entire life. She'd been making a list checking it twice, changing it every couple of years, naturally. They told her on Earth that she could only bring a backpack filled with her belongings. They said St. Peter was very strict about what you could bring into Heaven. Just a backpack, nothing more. So Elinore's black nylon Great Outdoors rucksack bulged with her Most Important Stuff. Strapped onto her back, this pack really, really hurt. She wished that someone would hurry it up and answer the door bell.

Slowly someone opened the door. Someone with a long straggly beared peered out.

Elinore (E): Are you St. Peter?
St. Peter (SP): I am.
E (said a bit tremulously): Here I am, ready to meet God.
SP: It's nice to meet you, Elinore.
E: Oh, you know my name? I forgot you're an angel.
SP: I'm not angel. My staff told me you would be coming.
E: Who's your staff?
SP: Archangels and dominions.
E: Oh.
SP: I hate to break it to you, but you can't bring that sack into Heaven.
E: But they told me I could! This is my Life!
SP: They?
Elinore (softly): My mom, dad and my CCD teacher Mrs. Pankos.
SP: You can't bring anything into Heaven.
E: Nothing.
SP: Nada.
E: Can I bring at least bring my family photos?
SP: Why do you need them? Your family is here.
E: My fabric. I'm got this expensive dottted swiss from Metro Textiles. Surely I can bring that.
SP: I'm sorry. No.
E: My vintage patterns? I've a 1980s Diane Von Furstenberg wrap dress pattern that I spent more than $100 on eBay.
SP: I'm afraid not.
E (getting desperate): How about my Stitch in Time book?
SP: Stitch in what? No.
(E sits down at the curb, crying. SP sits next to her, carefully arranging his robes)
SP (pointing to her backpack): You can bring that.
E (looking bewildered): I can bring what?
SP pointed to a bronze Cover Soft Touch size F crochet hook sticking out of her backpack.
SP: That.
E (overwhelmed with gratitude, hugs SP): Oh, thank you. St. Peter. Thank you. I love you!